Friday, December 3, 2010

things I should keep to myself...

I'm a loudmouth. I'm aware that I sometimes share my opinions a little too easily, and for that I am sorry in advance. Sometimes people silently ask my opinion. I swear. And it's not my fault that they don't know that they want my opinion. 

 I was watching Private Practive last night, and Derek's sister said that she was practicing "filtering". This is something I should probably work on for 2011.

But it isn't 2011 yet.

1) I wore a pajama shirt, leggings and a maternity sweater to work the other day. It was all clean though, and no, I'm not pregnant again.

2) You shouldn't wear full backed panties with pants that don't have pockets. Use your head ladies!! Buy some correct undies.

3) Don't talk religion or politics while drinking. I don't care if you are my best friend. If we don't agree sober then we won't agree after 6 beers. Let's agree to disagree.

 4) Don't advertise what you give. That irks me more than anything.

5) I can't stand Ed Hardy.

6) You shouldn't crumple your money in your pocket, you should respect it, and I know how financially responsible you are by that and by

7) your shoes.  My husband always says that you can tell a lot about a man (or woman) from their shoes.  That being said, I have on brown boots as I type and the leather is almost worn off one toe from my clumsiness. Have I mentioned that I sometimes fall?

8) i hate it when people don't open the door and actually hold it open for a stranger. That just isn't kind. If we can't do at least that, then we have serious problems.

9) Make your bed in the morning.  If you can't tackle this, then your house will never have any hope of being tidy. It feels good. I promise.

10) I don't really have a #10.

ciao, and have a great weekend, and i have to say it-


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

holiday weight loss tips (not really)

Since having a baby 9 months ago I have been on a quest to "lose the baby weight." Things keep getting in my way and screwing it all up. For one, the baby. I blame most of it on him. But if I want to be kind and say that it really is my fault, and it is, then I must say it is directly correlated with beer and laziness. Here I am folks, a modern day Homer Simpson. But a chick.  I'm sure this will lead you to the impression that I have beer with every dinner, which is quite the opposite of my reality. I won't lie, that would be glorious. Rather, I find that I try to consume my weekly intake all on Friday and Saturday nights. Some of us have to work during the week, you know.

There are little things that I like to call "roadblocks" that are screwing up my plans. I will list them in no particular order:

1) THE TODDLER.  I can't blame the baby for this one, but I CAN blame the toddler. I eat everything that he eats. Poor kid lives on raisins and whole grain goldfish because of my inability to have a smidgen of self control. It won't kill him.

2) JOEY WONKA I have a cubie that sells candy bars. I like to call him "Joey Wonka".  He comes off as being really nice and that hes doing it for his daughter's school, but I know the truth. He's really pocketing the money and taking his wife on a cruise. (not really, the kid has already gone to NY, I'm sure Prague is in her future with the amount of candy this guy sells to my coworkers.) 2pm rolls around and there is a line at his desk for chocolate bars and warheads. 

3) WENDY'S. Damn you and your new french fries. I literally feel like I will die if I don't get my hands on those. I want to try them so badly.

4) HOLIDAYS. Cream cheese, sour cream, mayo and more. Meals and traditions- calories galore.

5) BEER. I can't help myself.

Here's to a juice fast next week, and chatting with my treadmill. 


Monday, November 29, 2010

Got my mind on my closet, and my closet on my mind.

So I was getting ready for church yesterday, and I couldn't find anything that I wanted to wear. I had to read in front of the church, and so there is always a chance that I would trip- so I had to have on something cute, right?  Wrong. I had to wear all black cause I couldn't find anything that wasn't a wrinkled mess.  Why? Cause my clothes are PACKED in my shoebox closet that I share with my husband. Why do I share? Cause I'm not as mean as I used to be when we first go hitched- when I put his clothes in the guestroom.  God bless that man.

Right when I left for church I told John that I was cleaning house when we got home. Bigtime. He was so excited he offered to take it all to Goodwill for me.

I am not in college. Forever 21 needs to have a limited presence in my wardrobe.  I am not a geek either, so the mid rise Old Navy jeans that I thought I needed cause I have 2 kids also went bye bye. I bagged clothes that I have had for like 10 years. I wish I would have thought to take pictures, but descriptive writing is all I have to offer.

Maternity bridesmaids dress? WHY DO I HAVE THIS? Sorry Turie, it was beautiful, but I'm not wearing it again. That was just one of three bridesmaids dresses. Sorry ladies, but let's get real. I found jeans that are 1 foot too long, and I have had them for 3 years. I'm obviously not getting them hemmed. So long! See ya!  Shoes, belts, purses, and the Gucci skirt I got in Milan 10 years ago. (Yeah mags, I had to let it go. I can't get it over my calves.) SEVEN LEAF BAGS, FOLKS. Seven. 7!!! John has called TLC to enter my story to "Hoarders".

It was such a nice experience that I highly suggest. I felt cleansed and renewed with a new sense of organization. Now, if I am truly honest with myself I can say that I'm sure it won't last. BUT, I am going to try and keep the cycle going by doing the boys' closet's next. You know that is a sacrifice because those clothes are too precious, and when your baby wears 9-12 months, it's time to get rid of the newborn clothes. Maybe. Truthfully, I'm saving them to make a quilt, cause I sew and all.  (insert sarcasm)

So, wish me luck as I trudge up the stairs with a Hefty cinch sack in one hand, and Kleenex in the other. 

Remember- a cluttered house = a cluttered mind.