things I should keep to myself...

I'm a loudmouth. I'm aware that I sometimes share my opinions a little too easily, and for that I am sorry in advance. Sometimes people silently ask my opinion. I swear. And it's not my fault that they don't know that they want my opinion. 

 I was watching Private Practive last night, and Derek's sister said that she was practicing "filtering". This is something I should probably work on for 2011.


But it isn't 2011 yet.

1) I wore a pajama shirt, leggings and a maternity sweater to work the other day. It was all clean though, and no, I'm not pregnant again.


2) You shouldn't wear full backed panties with pants that don't have pockets. Use your head ladies!! Buy some correct undies.


3) Don't talk religion or politics while drinking. I don't care if you are my best friend. If we don't agree sober then we won't agree after 6 beers. Let's agree to disagree.

 4) Don't advertise what you give. That irks me more than anything.


5) I can't stand Ed Hardy.

6) You shouldn't crumple your money in your pocket, you should respect it, and I know how financially responsible you are by that and by

7) your shoes.  My husband always says that you can tell a lot about a man (or woman) from their shoes.  That being said, I have on brown boots as I type and the leather is almost worn off one toe from my clumsiness. Have I mentioned that I sometimes fall?

8) i hate it when people don't open the door and actually hold it open for a stranger. That just isn't kind. If we can't do at least that, then we have serious problems.

9) Make your bed in the morning.  If you can't tackle this, then your house will never have any hope of being tidy. It feels good. I promise.

10) I don't really have a #10.

ciao, and have a great weekend, and i have to say it-

GOOD LUCK SOONERS. 

holiday weight loss tips (not really)

Since having a baby 9 months ago I have been on a quest to "lose the baby weight." Things keep getting in my way and screwing it all up. For one, the baby. I blame most of it on him. But if I want to be kind and say that it really is my fault, and it is, then I must say it is directly correlated with beer and laziness. Here I am folks, a modern day Homer Simpson. But a chick.  I'm sure this will lead you to the impression that I have beer with every dinner, which is quite the opposite of my reality. I won't lie, that would be glorious. Rather, I find that I try to consume my weekly intake all on Friday and Saturday nights. Some of us have to work during the week, you know.


There are little things that I like to call "roadblocks" that are screwing up my plans. I will list them in no particular order:

1) THE TODDLER.  I can't blame the baby for this one, but I CAN blame the toddler. I eat everything that he eats. Poor kid lives on raisins and whole grain goldfish because of my inability to have a smidgen of self control. It won't kill him.


2) JOEY WONKA I have a cubie that sells candy bars. I like to call him "Joey Wonka".  He comes off as being really nice and that hes doing it for his daughter's school, but I know the truth. He's really pocketing the money and taking his wife on a cruise. (not really, the kid has already gone to NY, I'm sure Prague is in her future with the amount of candy this guy sells to my coworkers.) 2pm rolls around and there is a line at his desk for chocolate bars and warheads. 


3) WENDY'S. Damn you and your new french fries. I literally feel like I will die if I don't get my hands on those. I want to try them so badly.

4) HOLIDAYS. Cream cheese, sour cream, mayo and more. Meals and traditions- calories galore.

5) BEER. I can't help myself.

Here's to a juice fast next week, and chatting with my treadmill. 

ciao.

Got my mind on my closet, and my closet on my mind.

So I was getting ready for church yesterday, and I couldn't find anything that I wanted to wear. I had to read in front of the church, and so there is always a chance that I would trip- so I had to have on something cute, right?  Wrong. I had to wear all black cause I couldn't find anything that wasn't a wrinkled mess.  Why? Cause my clothes are PACKED in my shoebox closet that I share with my husband. Why do I share? Cause I'm not as mean as I used to be when we first go hitched- when I put his clothes in the guestroom.  God bless that man.

Right when I left for church I told John that I was cleaning house when we got home. Bigtime. He was so excited he offered to take it all to Goodwill for me.

I am not in college. Forever 21 needs to have a limited presence in my wardrobe.  I am not a geek either, so the mid rise Old Navy jeans that I thought I needed cause I have 2 kids also went bye bye. I bagged clothes that I have had for like 10 years. I wish I would have thought to take pictures, but descriptive writing is all I have to offer.

Maternity bridesmaids dress? WHY DO I HAVE THIS? Sorry Turie, it was beautiful, but I'm not wearing it again. That was just one of three bridesmaids dresses. Sorry ladies, but let's get real. I found jeans that are 1 foot too long, and I have had them for 3 years. I'm obviously not getting them hemmed. So long! See ya!  Shoes, belts, purses, and the Gucci skirt I got in Milan 10 years ago. (Yeah mags, I had to let it go. I can't get it over my calves.) SEVEN LEAF BAGS, FOLKS. Seven. 7!!! John has called TLC to enter my story to "Hoarders".

It was such a nice experience that I highly suggest. I felt cleansed and renewed with a new sense of organization. Now, if I am truly honest with myself I can say that I'm sure it won't last. BUT, I am going to try and keep the cycle going by doing the boys' closet's next. You know that is a sacrifice because those clothes are too precious, and when your baby wears 9-12 months, it's time to get rid of the newborn clothes. Maybe. Truthfully, I'm saving them to make a quilt, cause I sew and all.  (insert sarcasm)

So, wish me luck as I trudge up the stairs with a Hefty cinch sack in one hand, and Kleenex in the other. 

Remember- a cluttered house = a cluttered mind.

Thanksgiving Fun and Easy bedlam Recipes

Oh the joys of multiple Thanksgivings. No one tells you when you get married that it automatically changes your destiny for each holiday.  I have no complaints here- I have never been one to turn down food. I promised I would post cousin Shari's potato casserole with all its creamy goodness- and here is its uncooked version:

For some reason the things I make don't usually taste good to me. Maybe that is because I eat it as I go, and by the time that its actually cooked the thrill is gone.  You know what else I figured out? Corn flakes are GOOD. Like, good without sugar. I guess this means I'm growing up.  Whoulda thunk it.

We didn't start our festivities until five, and I was terrified, cause the wee one demands sleep by 6:30 usually.  It was a pretty normal holiday. Everyone attempted to play domino's, and you just can't do that with 2 toddlers running amuck. Below is my mother in law with a very curious kid. He wanted those domino's SO badly. He got them too. Of course.

Gotta love www.etsy.com- Will's shirt was too cute, and the seller was awesome- you can find more info here.

As usual, I had to take a million pictures of Luke with cousin Ben.  Being so close in age I can't help it.  Honestly, I keep picturing their senior slide show or something, and I just know that these are going to be useful someday. If all else fails, Amy and I will have them. It's ok if you just want to pinch the heck out of Bennie's cheeks. I know I always do.



If you like Luke's shirt, you can get a Christmas or superhero version
at Super Tot



Then we headed to my parents house. (Our Thanksgiving's were 2 hours apart, and that was only because my brother's flight from LAX was delayed. I wanted to see him, but was thankful for the break between meals. :) Every year we invite my dad's old friend Harry and his sweet wife Carolyn over for dinner. They are so sweet, and Harry is an old Marine. He's hard core, but has such a sweet and soft side.

John always gives him hell. He will ask him how being in the Army was, or what it felt like to fly in the Air Force.  Gets Harry all riled up and insists that John remember that he is a MARINE! Then they will share a drink and eventually Harry can top John.  I can't post how he did it, but if you see me feel free to ask. It was hilarious. John also calls my sister in law's father "the captain" when that is not his name. I don't think Nikki's dad understands why he does it, but he smiles and nods.

It was great to see Blake, and what is hilarious is that he is so big city (boy- that made me sound super country, but it's time I face reality) and he is so stylish. I looked down at my outfit and felt as if I walked right out of The Square Foot. 



blake

 It's also good to see my other brother and his wife and daughter.  Will loves Charli, and its so nice to watch them play together.  I don't imagine that it will last long once Charli figures out that Will is kind of a bully, so we soak it in while we can. 



nikki.charli.collin

 Lastly, the patriarch of our family, my dad. He is going to kill me for this, but he is one of the most awesome men you will ever come across. I am so thankful for him and the father and grandfather that he is.  I am so lucky that I married someone that will be the amazing dad to my boys as my dad was to me.

one of my favorite pics of all time.

 
That's pretty much it in a nutshell. I had to work Black Friday, so that pretty much put a fun damper on any Thanksgiving night wine drinking contests. Oh, the memories.

Now for BEDLAM recipes!!!
Oops- did I make that orange? Guess I did..

Okay, I know that you are all at parties and you should be bringing something with you when you go. Its also Saturday during the Christmas season, and I would rather stab my eye out than go to the store. SO, what to do? You make Emily's onion dip.  And no, I'm not going to post step by step photos like PW- if you can't handle this then you shouldn't cook.

EMILY'S ONION DIP
1 cup Chopped onion (I find yellow is best)
1 cup Mayo (don't use Miracle Whip, or low fat- use the real deal people.)
1 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Mix this all up and bake on 350 degrees until bubbling and kind of brown on the sides. (how do you do a degrees sign on a keyboard?) and serve with Triscuts. Tastes like its way harder than it is, and the GREAT thing is that it's so easy to double. Just add another cup of everything. Voila.

Another one that I have found that is super is from the Pioneer Woman (shocking, right). Everything she makes is #1. You must eat this.

PW HOT OLIVE AND ARTICHOKE DIP
this is seriously divine. I can't even begin to describe how delicious this is. I add more hot sauce and more cayenne to give it a big kick.

Last one is a dip that I received in a full recipe box when John and I were married. I never thought much about it, but I remember the first time that I made it. This one is really a go to dip for any time of year. The sauerkraut really breaks down and becomes almost sweet, but still keeps that bite.

REUBEN DIP
1/2-1 cup mayo (again, real stuff here.)
1 can Bavarian sauerkraut (drained)
1/2 lb shredded swiss
1/2 lb shredded cheddar
1/2 lb shaved pastrami

I usually chop the pastrami a bit finer than the deli does, but its your call. I find that I like for a little bit of everything to be in each bite, and that is hard when you have a hunk of Pastrami in the mix.  You mix this all together and bake at 350 (again- degrees sign?) It's delish with bagel chips, or your fingers. It's that good. And you would think that it wouldn't be a crowd pleaser since it has the sauerkraut, but it's actually a pretty devoured dip.

You have 4 hours. Get a move on! I'm not taking sides this time- I wish everyone a fin BEDLAM! (cough...GO POKES....cough...)

ciao.





Ode to Holiday Gluttony

Ive posted three pictures of cookies on my Facebook page in 24 hours. I have pondered the fate of each cookie before it was consumed. I sat there wondering, while holding its chocolate gooey goodness, which part of my body it will enlarge. Still, not caring, I shoved it down my throat, and it was divine. Every bite.  Truth be told, I didn't even like sweet stuff until I had kids. I devoured tubs of strawberry ice cream when I was pregnant with Will, and ate cookies and cereal non stop with Luke. So while I dream of having the body of my 20 year old self, I have decided that I would rather be full and happy. Today, at least.

My cousin Shari makes the most divine potato casserole.  She is known for it in our family. My poor brother even called from LA last year for the recipe cause he was homesick for it. He emailed a picture when we didn't believe that he really made it. I am still impressed with the fact that he had a casserole dish. To carry on tradition, I am making it this year. I stopped by her house to pick up my little people, and she refreshed my memory on some of her secrets. While I won't divulge them, I will say my treadmill may get a workout if I decide I care about it.  Here is what it looks like:

I think that I have finally come to a conclusion on the subject that has been tormenting my waistline. I will be surrounded this week with seriously horrible but delicious food. Its completely a blessing that we are fortunate to have such a bountiful harvest of heavy cream and sugar (not to mention cream of mushroom), so maybe we should all just partake in the festivities- live a little. It wouldn't be very Thanksgiving-ish for anyone to let it go to waste. Right?

Moving on to Glee... I really thought Kurt was going to get shot in the wedding by the bully. I was really scared for him. Thank goodness we have DVR so i could fast forward through commercials. It was a nail biter, that one.

Last, but not least, my babes.

Will demands to wear cowboy boots with no coat. He won't eat anything either (he ate a cookie, go figure.) I am told the anorexic thing is a stage. I figure he's like a puppy- he will eat when he's hungry.

Luke is almost 9 months old and starting to have his personality shine through. Tonight is the first time I ever saw one of us in him. He has this laugh thing where he kinda hisses and makes this silly face. Looks exactly like his daddy.

Pretty special little people, those two. Plus, they make me feel tall. That's just an added bonus. Their daddy is 6'5, so I don't think I'll be taller for much longer.

Ciao.

Wanted: dog rental

I want a dog. Not really, but I think I want a dog. We had two pretty great dogs we had to give away because of Will's allergies. I miss them, but I don't miss the mess or responsibility. I've decided I need to rent a dog.

I don't know what kind I want, or which one will bother Will. I love bulldogs and basset hounds, but know of their problems too, so i would want to kind of stay away from that.

It's gonna have to be female. No more testosterone in mi casa.

I hate dogs that fit in purses. That whole idea is just plain stupid. I would paint a bulldogs toenails, but only if her name is Francine.

It can't shed and I would like it to protect me from criminals. However, it can't be too big to where it kills my grass. That's a bugger.

Any suggestions? I'm sure someone is going to post that maybe I don't need a dog, and that's fine. I probably don't. But I tend to believe the line between needs and wants is very blurry.

Maybe I should get a stuffed bulldog and name her Francine. She can wear a pink tutu.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

deck the halls..continued.

In case you missed part I, click here-- Deck the Halls. I have a feeling this is turning into a series. 

So I ventured up into the attic this afternoon.  It was every bit as bad as I originally pictured. That's just not a place for us women. That is a man's spot. Sorry to sound old fashioned, but I figure that if human beings came out of my body that I'm exempt from atticing if I choose to be...is that a word? Atticing? I guess it is now.  Anyway, I shouldn't have to clean the pool either, but I have at least 6 months to get my case together for that.


I originally thought that Will was going to be the child that terrorized my Christmas decorating. This wasn't the case. I mean, look at this face! He wouldn't bother a fly. mmmhmm.

That being said, he was asleep. This made it easier to get a little done. I remember when Will would nap, I would have 4 glorious hours of Jordie time. I could nap, I could clean, I could do whatever I wanted. That isn't the case anymore. Those two just cannot seem to get on the same schedule in the afternoons. (Kids, if you are listening, the hours of 1pm-4pm are really my favorite. Christmas is coming up, you know. Mommy needs a little present. You can give me wine too. Serves the same purpose.)

Now let us get back to business.

I went into the attic.  Did I mention that? Yup, I'm still thinking about it.  And now that I am really thinking about it, I can't figure out what the hell is in there besides Christmas decorations. All I could think about is that I was 110% positive that there was probably a homeless man living in there waiting for the right time to strike. Chances are slim, but I have a limitless imagination when it comes to scaring myself. There wasn't really a homeless man, but there are lamps that I don't know where they came from.  Granted, I was 20 feet away (you don't think I would actually climb in the attic, did you? No, this girls feet didn't leave that top step.) so the lamps could actually be mine.

I brought down three tubs of glittery goodness. Thank goodness John is so smart, because he put all my decorations right by the entrance. I bet it was for his own ease, but still- I benefited. I hauled the tubs in and then I did this:

I took this at night, so my photography friends aren't going to be thrilled with my lack of natural light, but I didn't want to use my flash.  It still needs work, but I was okay with it for today. I will label this "work in progress" and make a note that if I ever build a house, an outlet is a MUST on the mantle. duh.

Then look what happened:

drool.

Someone woke up from their nap. He really loved those bells too. He had a complete blast. So, I figured that I would move on to another area of the house.

My mother in law bought us piece of furniture when we first got hitched, and I just love it. I don't decorate my house for every holiday- but I love to put festive decorations on this piece. First impressions are everything, and if you can get past the weeds in the flower bed, this lovely piece is there to welcome you. Well, maybe you can't see the whole thing, but there she is. I usually sprinkle snow all over it so you can't see any of the top, but I don't think I will be able to do that again until 2020. Now that I am looking at this picture, the angel looks super country sitting there, and she isn't. She is very Anthropologie. She must be moved.

So, folks, that's all I know today. Well, that's all I know about decorating for Christmas.

Other things I know are this: 

1) My friend Patrick at work has me obsessed with needtobreathe and they are incredible. I suggest "garden" and "the outsiders". You won't regret spending the $1.29 on itunes for those. I guarantee.

2) I'm reading at church tomorrow.  Last time I was in front of church for Luke's Christening I tripped, so I'm sure this will be hilarious. I love mispronouncing Bible names, places, and things. My sister in law, Amy, is lighting a candle.  She falls too. Wish us luck.

3) I'm SO excited to see my brother on Thursday. Haven't seen him since May and I literally feel like it's been a lifetime. I am so proud of him, and his company is just taking off! Check them out at  http://rydbikes.com/.

Can you tell I learned how to insert links today? Yeah, I'm big time.

Ciao.